Warrior in training

Warrior Yoga.

Warrior in training. Becoming unleashed. Come get fierce with me.

My son made this video to help me promote my classes this week. I gave him the raw stuff (hence why half of it is sideways).Children and weapons not included.

Tuesday 7:45 pm and Saturday 9am at It Takes a Village

Wednesday 7:30 am at Peak Performance Float, Inc.

Watch the video here

Feeling ill

Dear Warriors,

This week I had a 1:1 session with my yoga teacher. We scheduled our time after Village on Tuesday evening. I had our tribe time then solo time with her. My teacher specializes in restorative yoga and Thai yoga massage.

She wrapped me up in blankets and bolsters and lovingly applied oils to my heart, neck, forehead and top of my head. Then, I laid there. Surrendered in her safe hands. This is a place that is hard for me to go - I like to push hard and push myself even harder. I have a major body injury and I bet you wouldn't even know because I'm still pushing my body hard in classes, but to lay and let go is challenging for me and I often have shame around.

My cranium was cradled in her safe hands. She asked me a few questions and I got to sink down deeper in my heart. My heart was speaking for the first time, not my intelligent mind. It did take awhile, my mind wanted to protect or keep my heart from speaking.

The profound statement my heart said was, "the formula is this, surrender and be open. Surrender and be Open to Life."

My mind was quiet and accepted my heart's truth.

My time with her was profound and my heart and head ceased their war. It took a while, but my thoughts finally surrendered and my beautiful heart spoke.

****

Over the last 24 hours I have been violently ill. I'll spare the details. The forced surrender. My body absolutely weakened and I can do nothing but rest. My thoughts rise up again and I shame myself for being sick and that I'm wasting the day, how very unproductive. So my body got even weaker and sicker where I'm at a surrendered state, I cannot even think, it hurts too much.

But before I did get to this place, I did try and force - my kids needed to be at their classes so I took them. Luckily, my daughter found a plastic bag perfectly placed under our van. "Here you can use this for puking."

I dropped my kids off at various locations and then started getting violently ill while driving and blacking out. I realize I'm in no state to drive for do anything for the rest of the day. When my heart speaks it commands. I will surrender and be open to life.

I ask for help to get through the rest of the day. And I realize, what JOY it is to ask for help. I am amazed of the joy and grace I'm experiencing from leaning in. I call upon a few friends and arrange pick ups. My oldest son chose to stay home from an outing to take care of me. I kept pushing him to go and he insisted on staying home. His heart's song stronger than my mind. I truly needed him for a few hours, to layer blankets on me, bring me fluids and just sit with me. By this surrender I was open to see his heart, his love and his gifts. I was open to being vulnerable and trusting others with my kids and witnessing they are in such good hands. I was open to seeing the power of my community. I was forced to allow people into my messy home and see me motionless on the couch speaking only in grunts. Soul nurturing with unconditional love and truth.

And for that "unproductive" day? - I AirBnB a room out - I got a guest today - the room is always ready and boom, I actually was 'productive' as I made money just by laying here.

But my heart wasn't done with me yet, she still had more to show me. I don't want to call this person an adversary, but that has been the role they have played in my life lately. Lets refer to said person as D. Today, on this day, I had to connect with D.

And here is what D did, while I was drifting away on my couch. D cleaned my kitchen. My kitchen was disgusting, so much so, that when I got up from the couch to refill my ice, it made me queasy just by being in it. I laid on the couch and in and out of faded consciousness I watched D. And my heart said, 'Be Open" I was open to seeing D as a person and was able to pour gratitude into our connection and unique relationship. I saw D no longer as my adversary but open to forge a new relationship.

I believe I was walking, laying, floating in grace. In my place of surrender I was open to life and caught by grace. In the surrender I was open to receiving - help, love, tender care. Open to redefining relationships, open to seeing the hearts of others, open to letting go.

As I write this over the past hour I am feeling better, I am seeing the truth, I am eating and drinking and sitting up. I am grateful for my heart and the surrender. I am grateful my heart knows the truth.

Surrender is the Key that Unlocks the Door to Grace. This is my warrior training.

I am walking in Grace. I surrender and I am open. I will see you on the mat on Saturday mornings and Tuesday evenings It Takes a Village . You may even find me laying in surrender. It truly is a practice.

Warrior on,

Becky

All of Village's teachers are available for private 1:1 sessions.

Letting go of all expectations

Dear Warriors,

Letting Go of All Expectations - That as been my mantra today. Over and over and over again.

Recently, I found a journal entry of mine from a few years ago and its title was "Unfulfilled expectations" and below a long and painful list of how things should have been.

I realized that a lot of my pain had/has come from unfulfilled expectations. And I carried them around, especially in relationships, family and grownup life. Ya with me?

Most of my pain and story has come from unfulfilled expectations, a lot of disappointments - that I took out on myself and others.

And I'm ready to release pain, release old story and live and experience the brilliance and beauty of life. (Ahem, don't get me wrong, there is beauty in pain, it is an amazing teacher) Perhaps a better word than pain is disappointment. Oh, righteous disappointment and THAT definitely can feel like pain, heartache, frustration and even disgust.

Todays journal entry was, "I let go of all expectations..."

And today, was perhaps the most easy, lovely, caught me by surprise kind of day. I brought my kids up to Tahoe with the expectation of us all snowboarding/skiing. Then my boys announced, "we're not doing it." So, here's the thing, if they don't do it...I DON'T GET TO DO IT!

Then my son said to me, "I need you to hear me, I really don't want to do it."

And my mantra came back, "I let go of all expectations."

The energy that I could have put into making them ski would have exhausted me, then I'm sure I would have been a grumpy guilt ridden ski bum.

"Ok, I hear you, what do you want?"

"Just to play in the snow. That is all..."

I took some breaths, I confessed this mothering business is hard - when do you push them, when do you let go?

But the thing that stuck was to let go of my expectations and let today be a practice - just like yoga - can I practice letting go?

In doing so, I truly experienced the miraculous throughout the entire day. Not one disappointment, just unexpected joy, fun nuggets, productivity, play, connection, around every corner

Here's just a few:

*I had an inspiring conversation with a badass mom and she gave me the breakdown of how she hustles for her kids, she laid out a wealth of information for me (had I been on the slopes, I would have missed this)

*The boys and I came home and I just let them play in the snow. I listened to them not just get along but relish in another. This has been on my praying heart as there has been a lot of sibling static lately. A prayer answered.

*My host and I talked about books we love and she showered me with kindness, including a homemade chocolate cake. She read my profile and saw that chocolate is one of my greatest loves. She gave my boys snow toys and gear for them for the day, including itty bitty show shoes - the CUTEST things ever.

*I put together an online yoga class

*My boys made microwave popcorn for the first time and thought it was the coolest thing ever. We had cookies and popcorn together over giggles.

*I got to see my daughter confidently walk into ski school on her very own and say, "I've got this, you guys can go now."

*My boys and I played in the snow and laughed until our bellies hurt

*I had dinner with a dear dear friend with our children and a view of Lake Tahoe

*I felt like I truly truly heard the heart of my children

I feel totally fulfilled.

Unfulfilled expectations = disappointment = resentment = pain

Letting go of all expectations = experiencing the miraculous

At the end of this day, it brings me back to my intention of this trip, to retreat. My intention wasn't really to ski and snow board, it was to retreat, and by letting go of all expectations, I got everything I could possibly want and more. Fulfillment, Retreat, Love, Laughter.

I practice yoga so I can let go of expectations on the mat, I practice yoga so I can do yoga out in the world. Join me on Saturdays It Takes a Village, so we can practice letting go together to experience the miraculous and be fulfilled.

Warrior on,

Becky

It feels like spring

It feels like spring. The sun is out the skies are blue and it’s the time of year to change a few eating habits from the winter. Start to incorporate lighter and greener foods like salads.

I’m kinda famous for my salads and love this time of year to consume salad and feel so satisfied.

Eat like you are the best project you can ever work on. Feed your warrior. Radical self love one bite at a time.

Here’s a few salad tips.

1. Grate your carrots.

2. Toast your nuts.

3 Add something sweet like a pear.

4. Always squeeze lemon and garlic.

5. Whatever you make, double it and have it the next day or share with a friend salad delivery is true love.

6. Make it in a huge bowl.

7. Toss in a lot of love.

Paulo Coelho

“Her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke - the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love.” Paulo Coelho The Alchemist. May you go on your personal legacy and may the universe support you. Love is mine. Love warrior.

Singing

Warrior Training:

Its a bit off key - but I don't care

I've never had any training - but I don't care

I've been rejected from auditions - but I don't care

I forget the words half way in the song - but I don't care.

Here's what I do care about -

I'm lost in the music. I'm having fun. I'm healing my soul with music. I'm playing with some of my dearest friends. I'm doing one of the darn scariest things - Hey singing in public (oh, and my, I'm loving it) I'm doing something I've always wanted to do. And thats, all that really matters. The rest, I don't really care.

Where there are no words, there is music and its music that soothes my soul.

Its the next best thing to love. Now, go and make a joyful noise.

This is my Warrior Training. This is me working on my greatest project. I Am Project Warrior.
Watch the video here

Free hugs

I was walking the streets of London about 5 years ago and there was guy wearing a sign that said, "FREE HUGS"

"Do not make eye contact with him. Look away. Step away."

But it happened. He caught my eye and said, "You there," like in a Robin Hoodish type way (he may had even said 'young maiden') "Would you like a hug?" he says with a wide smile and twinkles in his eyes. Gross.

Dear God NO! Nope. No and no!

"No thanks, I don't like hugs." I said and stuck my hand up and politely dismissed his disgusting offer. But my feet and body had a different agenda and I was walking towards this man. (Yes, I, Becky Hammel, actually said those words)

"No, he's going to steal all my stuff. This is a prank. No one else is stopping to get a hug. In fact, everyone is going about their way, but me. What is going on. Why is my body not listening to me?" A million weird strange thoughts swirled around, my adrenals obviously not working because I should be fighting or flighting. But nope, my wanderlust feet were walking towards this crazy man and my arms on their own accord began to open.

And there I was hugging this man, no, let me clarify, he was hugging me. This random man in the busy streets of London stopped time and we were hugging. Even as we were hugging, I was protesting, "I don't like hugs, please don't steal my stuff. Are you crazy?" He just kept hugging.

Then my body got weirder. It was not listening to me and my commands. "Run away, refuse to feel, get out of there." But my feet were planted and refused to go anywhere. My arms were coming together collapsing around him, and now on top of all that, my eyes were leaking. Damnit.

I don't know when I started putting up a fight for so long, the mighty self-preservation of "I'm fine" "I need not feel" but I do know the moment when I let the fight go and I sunk into a hug. A real hug.

That day, I was on my way to get a drink, or two. That moment, I never wanted to numb again. That feeling, that healing, that aliveness was too good to ever numb again.

In this touch deprived world we can find anything to numb or replace human connection - all the false medicines available and permissible -a phone, a drink, porn, food.

Nothing - nothing can take the place of genuine, pure and holy touch. And it comes in the form of a hug. A human hug.

We all carry pain, be it yours or mine, but what if, just what if we could heal with a 30 second hug.

And its free.

Connect with your human body at Village, connect with your humans with a hug at Village, and perhaps we might just change the world with a hug.

To that man on the streets in London, thank you.

For the hugs that heal us,

For the breath that sustains us,

For the body that moves us,

For the smiles that lighten us,

For the spirit that awakens us,

For the tears the purify us,

For this I give thanks,

Hugs and Warrior on,

Becky Hammel

See you on the mat this Saturday. I'll be the one with my arms open wide.

We begin promptly at 9am.

Village info in comments

Part 2

Meet Rebecca. Owner of Peak Performance Float, Inc. and host of Desire Through Silence retreat.

What exactly is floating?

I ask the expert

Part 2

Watch the interview here

What exactly is floating?

Meet Rebecca. Owner of Peak Performance Float, Inc. and host of Desire Through Silence retreat.

What exactly is floating?

I ask the expert

Part 1

Watch the interview here

Come float!

Join me for a private tour of Peak Performance Float, Inc. where the Desire Through Silence retreat takes place.

Watch the video here

Peak Performance Float

Come experience the magic of water as we float away in sensory deprivation tanks. March 1 5pm - 10:30 pm Peak Performance Float for the Desire Through Silence Retreat. Included in the retreat is a 90 minute float in the magical tanks. 90 minute yoga with improvisational and enchanted piano, vegan meal and vision boards. All the tools to help you bring your desires to the tangible surface. The retreat is designed to help you move beyond what you need and answer what it is you want. 

What do I want?

You know what you need, but do you know what you want?

Do you feel that? I know all the needs to cater to and things that need to get done, but I’ve forgotten what I WANT.

Why am I here?

The Desire Through Silence retreat allows you to open up to your Desire through the medium of silence so you can ask just that, “what do I want?”

Sit in Silence and allow the answer to unfold.

You have a unique gift and a unique way to express it. This is Desire.

Included in the retreat is 90 minute float. 90 minute yoga with live piano. Silent vegan meal. Guided vision board.

Are you ready to move beyond what you need and ask what do I want.

Hosted by Peak Performance Float in Walnut Creek. Facilitated by Becky Hammel. For you to work on your greatest project, you.

Call Peak Performance Float to book your unique and exclusive Bay Area retreat.

Food guilt

Food guilt and food shame. Ever felt those?

How I transformed my body and moved from shame to love in my body.

Three things I do to feel fulfilled.

None include going to the gym.

Watch the video here

X

X = a particular body part

Dear ones,
X - I hated X. I had so much shame, embarrassment about X. From a tender young age my toxic relationship with X began. All those feelings towards X. I even explored going to extreme measures of surgery to have X taken away. There is a lucrative business in this horrific body mutilation sold as normal because so many others have the same hate, shame and embarrassment over X. The shame is normalized. The shame turned into justified self-loathing mutilation. For years, YEARS, if I saw a picture of myself all I could feel was the hate in my heart boil towards X. I could barely look at myself. "Gross, look how gross and disgusting X is." And put the picture face down. It hurts my heart to write this as I remember that girl. To feel that ache that she must have been feeling. When I would tell people about my feelings about X their immediate response was - "but your X is amazing" "why don't you like X" "I wish I had your X"
Great, now something is even more wrong with me, not only do I have a problem with X, there is problem now with me for my feelings towards X. Shame on top of Shame. My healing with X began the moment I had kids. And isn't that the way - our children are our greatest teachers and awakeners. I had an appreciation for X and what my body was capable of. X now had purpose. And with purpose came passion. With passion became a spark. And each spark lit the darkness of shame banished. The big dark suffocating blanket of shame banished by a tiny flicker of light. Light drives out the dark. A tiny spark could drive out that heavy dark.
I started to FEEL that spark. And that spark, no matter how tiny, felt so good. It felt like breath. Like I could breath for the first time. Perhaps I was, because that heavy suffocating blanket is sure hard to breath through. Breathing, seeing and moving through this light felt like, well, light. The spark had to be lit within. I had the power to light this, or remain in the dark. Perhaps it was time to banish the blanket of shame once and for all. Was I ready for war? Was I ready to stay in the light? The will to live and live in light was stronger than the dark blanket of shame. It was time to be a warrior of light.

I looked at X everyday in the mirror. Just me and X. I said every day, "I love you. I love you. I love you. I am grateful for you. I am grateful you belong to me. I am grateful we belong together." Learning to love myself AND X was some of the hardest work I've ever done, but the warrior stayed in the battle, for two weeks straight. I remember passing a mirror and catching my reflection and I did a double take at myself. Then I stood in front of the mirror in AWE - wow, that is ME! I grabbed someone close to me and said, "Look - that is ME!" "Look at me, did you know I looked like this?" "Did you know I'm beautiful?" "I have been waiting for you to see yourself as I see you..."
It took two weeks of steady light warrior work to drive out years of dark. It took two weeks of opening my eyes to truly see to be awakened to beauty, even my own. I could have been told a million times I was beautiful, or X was beautiful, but I couldn't hear it, nor receive it, until I believed it as truth for myself. Now I know. I know this as truth.

This is the work of a warrior. This is yoga. This the practice. To come back to truth DAILY. To unite our bodies, minds soul and spirit with our breath, our life force, to see and live in the truth. I walk the path of a warrior. So do you, each time you choose to light that spark, each time you choose to come to your breath, each time you choose to come to your mat, each time you choose to love yourself, each time you choose to run towards your fear. Village is here for you to come to your warrior on your mat. Come to connect to YOU and fall in love with you. To have a love affair with all your X's and all of you. Love and light drive out the dark - which is why they are worth the fight. The smallest spark can banish the darkest shame. It cost nothing to light your own flame, just your choice to show up and become the warrior that you are. This is the the work I am here to do - I Am Project Warrior

I Am - the two greatest words you can ever use, for what you say after becomes
Project - the dedication that you are the greatest project you can ever work on
Warrior - To be a light warrior - to run towards your fear and dark knowing its the only thing that gets smaller as you run towards it.
Find your warrior with me and your community of warriors at Village you are not alone in this battle of love and light.
I love you and all your X's. I love me and all of my X's.
Happy Valentines, I hope you dedicated this celebration of Love to you and the glorious being that you are.
Warrior on,
Becky
Find your warrior here - It Takes a Village

Newspaper article

A newspaper article to seal a commitment. Weird but true. This time last year I chucked my phone across the room in a fit of rage and overwhelm. I killed it. Blunt force trauma straight to its head. It didn’t shatter it just died on impact. After that I didn’t have a phone for 6 months. It was THE BEST!! But then I got it back again. And those impulses and habits didn’t take long to come back. I was hooked like a good addict even though I was sober for 6 months. Now 12 months after the murder of my phone I am learning new ways, using the tool of what it’s intended for and putting it away when not in use. Boundaries that serve. 

Here is my commitment (better than throwing the phone) 1. To not use while driving 2 to not use while eating 3. To not take to bed with me. My first day in this practice I read the newspaper instead of getting on my phone. (I haven’t read a paper in years and a PAPER in my hands felt great) and this article featuring @westwinetours blew me away. I was inspired by local entrepreneurs and had a blast reading it. My lunch felt sacred. My driving is safer. My sleep is sounder. What a difference a year makes. Thank you @garrettsathre you never know the impact you have on another’s journey. Here’s to better and better everyday.