X

X = a particular body part

Dear ones,
X - I hated X. I had so much shame, embarrassment about X. From a tender young age my toxic relationship with X began. All those feelings towards X. I even explored going to extreme measures of surgery to have X taken away. There is a lucrative business in this horrific body mutilation sold as normal because so many others have the same hate, shame and embarrassment over X. The shame is normalized. The shame turned into justified self-loathing mutilation. For years, YEARS, if I saw a picture of myself all I could feel was the hate in my heart boil towards X. I could barely look at myself. "Gross, look how gross and disgusting X is." And put the picture face down. It hurts my heart to write this as I remember that girl. To feel that ache that she must have been feeling. When I would tell people about my feelings about X their immediate response was - "but your X is amazing" "why don't you like X" "I wish I had your X"
Great, now something is even more wrong with me, not only do I have a problem with X, there is problem now with me for my feelings towards X. Shame on top of Shame. My healing with X began the moment I had kids. And isn't that the way - our children are our greatest teachers and awakeners. I had an appreciation for X and what my body was capable of. X now had purpose. And with purpose came passion. With passion became a spark. And each spark lit the darkness of shame banished. The big dark suffocating blanket of shame banished by a tiny flicker of light. Light drives out the dark. A tiny spark could drive out that heavy dark.
I started to FEEL that spark. And that spark, no matter how tiny, felt so good. It felt like breath. Like I could breath for the first time. Perhaps I was, because that heavy suffocating blanket is sure hard to breath through. Breathing, seeing and moving through this light felt like, well, light. The spark had to be lit within. I had the power to light this, or remain in the dark. Perhaps it was time to banish the blanket of shame once and for all. Was I ready for war? Was I ready to stay in the light? The will to live and live in light was stronger than the dark blanket of shame. It was time to be a warrior of light.

I looked at X everyday in the mirror. Just me and X. I said every day, "I love you. I love you. I love you. I am grateful for you. I am grateful you belong to me. I am grateful we belong together." Learning to love myself AND X was some of the hardest work I've ever done, but the warrior stayed in the battle, for two weeks straight. I remember passing a mirror and catching my reflection and I did a double take at myself. Then I stood in front of the mirror in AWE - wow, that is ME! I grabbed someone close to me and said, "Look - that is ME!" "Look at me, did you know I looked like this?" "Did you know I'm beautiful?" "I have been waiting for you to see yourself as I see you..."
It took two weeks of steady light warrior work to drive out years of dark. It took two weeks of opening my eyes to truly see to be awakened to beauty, even my own. I could have been told a million times I was beautiful, or X was beautiful, but I couldn't hear it, nor receive it, until I believed it as truth for myself. Now I know. I know this as truth.

This is the work of a warrior. This is yoga. This the practice. To come back to truth DAILY. To unite our bodies, minds soul and spirit with our breath, our life force, to see and live in the truth. I walk the path of a warrior. So do you, each time you choose to light that spark, each time you choose to come to your breath, each time you choose to come to your mat, each time you choose to love yourself, each time you choose to run towards your fear. Village is here for you to come to your warrior on your mat. Come to connect to YOU and fall in love with you. To have a love affair with all your X's and all of you. Love and light drive out the dark - which is why they are worth the fight. The smallest spark can banish the darkest shame. It cost nothing to light your own flame, just your choice to show up and become the warrior that you are. This is the the work I am here to do - I Am Project Warrior

I Am - the two greatest words you can ever use, for what you say after becomes
Project - the dedication that you are the greatest project you can ever work on
Warrior - To be a light warrior - to run towards your fear and dark knowing its the only thing that gets smaller as you run towards it.
Find your warrior with me and your community of warriors at Village you are not alone in this battle of love and light.
I love you and all your X's. I love me and all of my X's.
Happy Valentines, I hope you dedicated this celebration of Love to you and the glorious being that you are.
Warrior on,
Becky
Find your warrior here - It Takes a Village