They just can't, its one or the other. Trust me, I know. I have a lot of fire in me and when not contained properly it is like a volcano ready to erupt with anger, then unresolved anger which is resentment. Its uuuuugly.
And anger always needs a place to go, like an erupting volcano. Its gonna come through your body (blood pressure, rashes, upset stomach) or your anger/lava will spew on others (yelling, shouting, screaming, complaining, physical violence). There are three types of anger volcanos- the slow seeping out of lava (like passive aggressive comments, negative mumbles) The constant - you can bet your life like Old Faithful she's gonna blow every day at 4:00 (often leads to numbing remedies, like drinking) And the most dangerous volcano, you never know whats gonna set her off nor when and that lava is explosive and dangerous (highly reactive, physical violence, easily triggered)
So, how do I contain my fire so my fire can be used for good? And Hey - fire is good - it heats us, it assimilates, it transforms, it is the catalyst, its driving, its motivating. I practice gratitude. In every situation there is something to be grateful for.
Take my smashed window for an example. Here's what I'm grateful for:
1. We are safe
2. Learning the lesson to get better daily to care for things trusted to me
3. I learned how to make an insurance claim - turns out was easy
4. I get to work with a local small business to replace my window. I have the opportunity to tell them about Village.
5. I got to be stuck at home without a car on a rainy day and get creative and cozy at home
6. I put my bike in the back of the van after I dropped it off to get home - I loved using my body as transportation and had so much fun.
7. While riding my bike I saw bright yellow flowers in bloom and they smelled so good.
8. I have the means to take care of my window
9. The things that were stolen had nothing personal on them.
10. Riding my bike made me feel like a joyous kid - I am so grateful for that feeling. Had my car not been broken into, I wouldn't experience this joy.
And like that, I'm not angry. It just cannot exist while I'm grateful. In any moment you can find 10 ways to show gratitude. And this may just a life line - this might just save your life and others around you.
In your warrior pose, imagine gratitude being that grace filled gentle warrior that is the antidote against anger. Gratitude is your greatest weapon. That is warrior.
When I was healing my body, I began with a gratitude practice. As hard as it was at that time, I would write down 10 things I was grateful for - each day. I would start the list with my jaw clenched and fist tightened and most likely hardly breathing. And by the time I got to the 10th on my list, my jaw was dropped and my breath was found.
Just like yoga, its a practice. For me, a daily practice. Its how I contain my fire. I have been that volcano one too many times, hurting myself and those around me. Now, I only want my fire to be used for good. Not long ago, I was sick, covered in a rashes, a daily drinker and had little hope for tomorrow. Gratitude was my life-line and it still is.
Here's a good way to start - keep a notepad by your bed. As soon as you wake up, write down at least 3 things your grateful for (it can even look like this, coffee, warm bed, cozy pajamas) This is yoga. This is breath. This is the practice.
Join me at tomorrow at Village (It Takes a Village) with Erin guiding us. Invite a friend or two. On Tuesday she got us all up in handstands flying away. And some Village news, we are able to take accept cards to make your giving and receiving easier for you.
Gratefully yours & Warrior On,
Becky
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