Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Be brave, show your beauty!

Part of watching the Olympics is witnessing world records break - barriers being blasted through. Its hopeful and full of triumph - to see what we can overcome when we break our own barriers.
One of my dreams was to be a model. I tried a few times and was told I was “too something” or “not enough” Too curvy, too old, hair is too short, too much acne, boobs too big, not tall enough, too tall, not curvy enough, not ethnic enough, too ethnic, etc.
All those “YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH” phrases weighed on me and I started to believe that about myself. The story I told myself was, “You will never be a model, you will NEVER live in your dreams because you are not enough.” So, I quit trying. I quit on myself.

Years I’ve told myself the same shitty story with the same shitty ending. Today, I am choosing to rewrite my story. My story today goes like this, “I am enough. I am perfect just the way I am.”
Today I want to break a barrier. I want to be a model who is enough. I want to break the barrier that a 35 year old mom of three can still dream BIG and break barriers. I noticed that when I became a mom 8 years ago that I put my dreams/wishes/aspirations tucked far away, so far I forgot them and in turn, forgot who I was. When I forgot my dreams and visions I also lost hope. I was living in my shitty story I wrote for myself.
So this MOM, this WOMAN, this CURVY woman wants to be a model. To break the stereotype of the fashion industry and say WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY WE ARE! When we see the beauty in others, we see the beauty in ourselves.
Today, I am wanting to blast through a barrier. To be a model. To reflect the beauty I see. Today, I will rewrite my ending to my story.
Please help me be triumph and break barriers by voting for me to become the face over San Francisco skyline. Its the votes that win the competition. So, if you want to break barriers, break the mold of the beauty industry, please vote for me. Please share this. And together, we can All rewrite our shitty stories we tell ourselves and live in triumph.
When I quit taking action, I lost faith and I didn’t offer myself, my family and the world my best. We all deserve to live in a world where we are all living in our full potential. That’s the world I want to live in and my children to live in. So today I AM TRYING. I am willing to take ACTION. I am WILLING to put myself out there again, even if I “fail”. I am willing to be my best.

Paddleboard

I've always wanted to paddleboard. In fact, I have it as part of my vision board for myself (see below in the comments). Last weekend I got to DO IT - I got to LIVE in my Dreams! *AND* share it with my son. Sure, I could have done it on my own; but I wouldn't have learned about harmony, teamwork, balance and becoming ONE with my son. This is what life is about.

From one to tribe.

Declutter!

External clutter is an outward expression of our internal clutter. I have to admit, I have been carrying around my exterior AND interior baggage for years - across 3 different countries!! Guess what? It caught up with me - it weighed me down - it OWNED me - result? I got sick. Very sick...

Now that I have cleaned up/tidied up/made mindful decisions of who and what comes into my life - my house is breathable, my life is flexible and along with my family, we are FREE!I am honored to work with Minimalist coach Katie Trovato who has guided me through the ever on-going process.
If you'd like to know more about what is minimalism, contact me or Katie.
But here is what minimalism is not - its not about being organized (Shocker?!) Its true transformation of YOU.

Thank you once again to 1 Million Women for their dedication to making the world a better place.

...

Trauma and movement...stay tuned.

Be wild

Release your restraints, your tethers, your leashes. Welcome your wolf, your dirt, your air, your nature, your rightful place YOUR WILD.

The road to adventure

The road to adventure starts with surrender - Letting go. Jumping off the platform. Surrender is the key that unlocks the door to grace. What are you holding on to? What if the best thing you could do right now was surrender? (and look at how much fun it is, too?!)

Quote of the day

1. Refuse to apologize 
2.Be fully unleashed!

Women are the river



Tibetan proverb



Project Warrior

A glimpse of what Project Warrior looks like. Women tasting the sweet waters of sisterhood. Building each other up, filling ourselves and being the change. Second day of a float and sisterhood retreat.

My rule book

My rule book.

Whats yours?

Hard work

Here's my reward for my hard work. I ran to get here. Hard work then a huge reward! The work reward balance has to take place for balance and achievement. It's not delayed gratification but a reward. So, how do you work and how do you get a reward? It can be as simple as this was for me... A hard run for the pleasure of having this view! The view never looked so good as this one...because you guessed it... Reward!


Friday, April 22, 2016

Have you met Grandmother Moon?

Grandmother Moon April 2016

A lot of events lead up to my meeting of the grandmother moon last night. All those little events gave my family a wild hair to have a full moon party which basically meant we would sleep together on the trampoline directly under her. The forecast was for rain but we all committed to sleeping under the sky as a family, knowing that the worst that could happen is that we would have to come back inside. We have NEVER done this before (camping yes, but a pile of bodies in the open air, no) We had every excuse NOT to sleep like this (school night, rain, cold, etc etc…but we did it anyway) 

Right before we went out I a new friend I made sent me this article courtesy of MysticMamma.com

“Grandmother Moon comes into her fullness once again in the sign of Scorpio. She speaks to us of our hidden desires, of the mysteries that lie beneath the world we see and teaches us how to shed our skin and surrender to the deep wisdom we posses within. The Full Moon in Scorpio is bringing light to all the shadow dynamics that lie underneath the surface - the very things we don’t want to look at or have been avoiding  dealing with are likely to come to Light right now. Its interesting to note that the Full Moon is conjunct to Juno - the asteroid Goddess of partnership and marriage, so there is a focus on relationships, commitments and contractual arrangements with others as well as our personal commitment to ourselves, our own growth and evolutions and navigation the shadow dance with as much consciousness as we can muster.”

That is the first time I have EVER read anything about a full moon in all my life. I’ve never maybe even taken notice of the moon before other than to point it out to my kids, “oh hey, look, the moon.” Given the new information about the moon, I couldn’t wait to sleep under her because I was, for the first time aware of the moon. 

Cuddled up with every single duvet, blanket and pillow we owned we laid under the most fascinating skies. The trees awoke and alive and did a dance against the skies. The clouds wisped, whrilled and told stories in front of our amazed eyes. The moon slowly rose and lit the dark sky. We all feel asleep dazed at the wander above us with cool wind kissing our faces. 

I woke up suddenly to the spotlight of the moon. It was so intensely bright. Like I was in direct contact with the Grandmother Moon. And it hit me in that bright moment what was brought to the surface by her - a grandmother. I have a birth grandmother and a birth grandfather that I have never met. My mom was born from a woman I will probably never know, not even her name.  Perhaps one of the bravest woman I have an honor to be a part of. I have never even thought about her before until this night, the night of the Grandmother Moon. But here is what was spoken to me. 

In 1952 a young woman became pregnant. I can’t imagine the social shame that was put on a unwed pregnant woman back then. But here is what I do know. That woman did something extraordinary. She chose life. I’m sure she didn’t have ME in her mind when she chose life but because of a decision she made I am here on this Earth, experiencing all of life. I mean, yes, she could have had an abortion, she was probably even pressured into doing so. But something this woman did, she chose life. I wonder if she will ever know how eternally grateful I am. I am overcome with gratitude to be alive and I thank this special ancestor of mine for choosing life. 

 My mom was adopted by a lovely couple. My adopted grandfather died before I was born so I only knew my Grandma Bee. She was awesome as grandmas go - cookies, money, cards and taught me the Charleston and if ever possible, set up two dates for the same night. But heres the thing, that bravery and trailblazing attitude from my birth grandma was passed on to my mom. My mom is the bravest kickass trailblazing woman I’ll ever have the privilege of knowing. I can imagine her growing up in the 60’s and 70’s from the wild stories she told. But what she did in the 70’s and 80’s is what amazes me. She was such a social rebel at that time - she nursed all her babies until past toddlerhood. She stood UP and fought for women’s birthing and nursing rights before it was socially acceptable to do so. Long before Facebook wars; this is the woman we need to thank for trailblazing the way so my generation can breastfeed in peace. So, her mother trailblazed first - chose life. Then my mom did it, too.

 And now we are on the third generation that this grandmother gave life to. I am an everyday rule breaker. I have fought for birthing rights, nursing rights, mothering rights. Helping women who are stuck find their rightful place as women on this earth, fully unleashed authentically themselves. I have a daughter and I cannot wait to see what she will pioneer for women. I watch her 5 year old body already take on the world as she stands up for herself and her beliefs. She is a warrior of 4 generations. 

 I believe the world is a better place because I am in it, because my mom is in it, because my sister is in it and especially because my daughter is in it. This is why I am ProLife. Because someone in my family chose life for generations and generations and believing that those lives would make the world a better place. 

Now, my mom had a son, I have two sons and my sister has two sons. But I am concentrating on daughters because it is told to us the abortion is “women’s right” 

 Let me tell you as well as what the Grandmother moon and my birth grandmother told me - THAT IS A LIE! Women’s right is having the freedom to safely birth a baby, to safely nurse a baby and to safely mother a baby. Women’s right is fighting for the balance of the feminine and the masculine in perfect balance without a power struggle. Where is the man’s right when it comes to abortion and his say with his part of his creation? This is what my daughter will stand for, this is what I stand for - LIFE. The feminine and the masculine CAN perfectly coexist together. The feminine is the flowing river, moving, flowing and giving new life. The masculine is the river bank, holding and containing the river allowing her a safe place to flow. Without the bank, the river would just seep and be uncontained. Without the river, the bank would be void of life. BOTH exist. BOTH have the right to life. I, as a third generation of a woman who have stood the test of time for women’s rights will NOT ever believe that abortion is woman’s right. Women reach their highest achievement at pregnancy, birth, delivery and nursing. Those are the rights we should be protecting NOT killing our miracle creations. 

I have had the honor recently of hearing a story from one of my friend’s that she had a daughter 18 years ago and gave her up for adoption. I got to see her eyes  dance and her heart have more hope than any grief that could have consumed it. This is a woman who chose life as well. Her creation lives on and so does she - because she chose life. This woman, my birth grandmother, my mother - they are our women’s rights heroes. Thank you for all you have done. 

I have never been so overcome with gratitude for my life. And gratitude to one special person who chose LIFE in 1952. Thank you Grandmother. Your legacy lives on. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

We can wet California's soil with the tears we shed today.

Sacramento Rally against SB277
Today was a heavy day in California. The news of Governor Brown signing the SB277 bill shocked me. I always believe in miracles and in hope. Today, he shattered that (only for a moment, he does not own me)

I was so sure he would not undo his father's legacy. But he abolished it, trashed it and smashed his citizens. Cruel. He didn't even take the chance to listen to the opposition.

I have been at many rallies at the capitol. My tribe has widened. I am stronger because my tribe is stronger. Just a year ago I moved to California. In the midst of unpacking boxes I became an activist. I was once alone and thanks to SB277 I am united with armor with my warrior families, assemblymen, celebrities, officials and friends.


I am constantly asked why I am ANTI-vaccine. I simply am not. I am pro health and pro natural immunity. Even though I hate labels, I've come to the conclusion that I must be a Libertarian so by nature I hate mandates. BUT if there is anything that should be mandated, it should be breastfeeding into toddlerhood. If truly truly truly we believe in public health and the greater good we would naturally do this anyway but hell, lets mandate it because its for public health.

Ahhh, you say, not everyone can breastfeed...

Hey, guess what, not everyone CAN get vaccinated, not everyone WANTS to get vaccinated.

This is not the time post to battle breastfeeding vs. vaccinations. But we will one day.


This is a plea to fight. If you believe in equality then its time. Do you want my children marked? Do you want my children to wear a label that says they don't belong? Do you want my children to have a yellow star and be forced to be schooled somewhere else? Live somewhere else? You don't want this, we've seen this before. (Or do you want this? Do you have to hate someone? Dammit, the gays have won so lets hate someone else...ahh, the unvaccinated and of course, you have the big pharma bully on your side)


There has not been one reported case of measles contracted from schools in the USA, not a single one. So why oh why would California put into law today a bill that would take away education from a small percentage of children who delay or do not vaccinate for various reasons; medical, personal or religious beliefs

After my oldest child started Kindergarten I picked up an awful disease called MRSA (When I tell people about it they are like...what's that, never heard of it...had I said measles I bet they would torch me on sight and send the needles flying) I was sick for over a year and still suffer complications because of it.
MRSA is a disease created by humans by the misuse of antibiotics creating a superbug killing over 20,000 people annually. Chances are pretty good that I got MRSA at the school or any other public place. Not ONE DEATH from the DisneyLand breakout - WHERE IS THE PUBLIC OUTCRY?
Instead we have stripped education as a consequence and yet, people still don't know what MRSA is.

Man created MRSA a super bug by the misuse of antibiotics
What's next? Super Viruses caused by misuse of vaccines?

If we DO NOT STOP this heinous bill it won't stop at vaccines. Next will be birth control for our young daughters. They will tell you its for the greater good for population control (I mean, after all we are in a drought and not enough water for all) ADHD meds for our boys to keep the peace in the classroom.

My brother died because of pharma. He was on a medication that is no longer on the market because there were too many deaths (one of the side effects) My mom has an auto immune disorder that started after getting the flu shot (one of the side effects) Today and every day I will fight. I am Project Warrior.

My tears will wet the earth and we will cleanse the soil and we will win. 

Monday, June 1, 2015

My (Norwex) Business Model

"Energized by the sun, Fueled by water." Becky Hammel
I don't love the sound of my own voice but I do talk...a lot. Too much?? Maybe. I remember report cards being sent home, "Great student, talks too much." Anyway, my point is, I CAN talk just fine. I like being asked to speak at events. I like being asked to share my story. I CAN do that (and yes, I usually do run over my time limit. I will work on that)

The top of my Norwex up-line recently asked me to share my business model at the team meeting this week. Of course, I didn't know what she meant..."Business model??! I can't share my business model with you as I don't have one." She asked me to share my Norwex story with our team by WRITING?! What? This is not my medium. I can't just wing it like I can speaking. I have to think about it first. And then edit and review. Cut and cut and cut and get it just right...this requires work!  but for my team, I will do it. 

I signed up with Norwex 3 years ago in July. I signed up because I wanted Norwex for free for myself, friends and family. I was not motivated by the commission because I did not NEED the extra money, but I do LIKE having it. I didn't care about giving away my commission as it meant everyone could have Norwex in their lives. I live daily with a passion to eliminate chemicals and unnecessary trash. I want to get better living that life each day; and I can because of Norwex, and I wanted this for others. 

I reached all my FreshSteps goals in less than a month as well as a bonus for a $1,500 month.  After I saw how EASY it was to sell Norwex I wanted to make a go of selling it, why not after all, I was fairly good at it. 

Well, as soon as I made that decision to actively sell, guess what....I got pregnant with baby 3. Its funny, I find while pregnant people DON'T want to have a Norwex party because they feel guilty for making me work (I thought this was ridiculous as I was the one OFFERING to do it) So, I kept Norwex up throughout my pregnancy by just contacting people here and there to fill orders, give discounts and make sure they had detergent. It kept me engaged and active. Then I had the baby YAY! Then I became very sick BOO! So during that time I really don't even know what I did with Norwex, it was a very dark and busy time. I do remember Heather (who's asked me to write this...) coming to visit me and really pushing me to promote. I said that Norwex was the last thing on my mind as I was concentrating only on my family and recovering. She said that when the time is right that it would happen. 

Just as I was starting to feel better, we moved to California. California is unchartered Norwex territory so I was ready to rock it out here, and plus, I thought this would be just up California's street, wouldn't you? Let me tell you, it was like one road block after another. I think I had more success selling postnatal and unwell versus being healthy living in "green" California. 

I hit a major road block a few months ago (you can read about it in a previous post called "Pink Hair") I wanted to give up ON EVERYTHING extra in my life - social media...Norwex... but then, instead, I decided to get better. It was a CONSCIENCE decision to get better. And once I made that fully aware, totally conscience decision things started happening...

1. I took a social media course. I invested in myself and in training. I wanted to learn how to BE BETTER (my goal was not to make money, but to be better)

2. I got involved again with my passions. This helped me get in touch with me again. To be enthusiastic. To surround myself with people with passion and purpose. As well as BE a person of passion and purpose. 

3. To touch my business everyday for 10 minutes (Either a Facebook or Twitter post or maybe reaching out to a customer)

So, technically, those 3 things are my business model for my success. After making that decision I got two personal recruits and have promoted to Team Co-oridinator. No where in my model is to have money as my goal but to be a person of passion and purpose and invest in myself and make fully aware and conscience decisions.